This is my first post. Like any “first”, this is certainly exciting. Not only am I satisfying a goal to start writing, I finished my work for the day and am able to write about something fun, me. To be fair, me and my family. We think we are fabulous, intelligent, funny, and just downright fun. I hope others do too. Or if not, maybe you are bored and/or irritated enough by my adorable picture that you keep reading.
So who am I anyway? I am happy, however much more so with my personal life than my professional life. I thought I would be further along in that arena, but more about that later. I turned 40 last September and am engaged to a wonderful man who I met when I was 35. I was bitter and cynical and sick of dating and luckily so was he. We both had prior dramatic relationships and sticky breakups and wanted none of that. Bottom line, I learned that your perfect mate is out there but you have to put yourself out there, your real self, not your “representative”. How would you describe yourself? How would others describe you? If that answer skews widely from reality, you will most likely be dating until the end of time. If you know what you really want you will find it. You just have to state the cold hard facts.
Real conversation excerpt:
“I absolutely do not want kids.” – Me
“I don’t either.” – J
“Perfect.” – Me
This was about 30 mins after we met. Completely sober might I add. We talked about politics, religion, sex, money, previous relationships and all the things you weren’t supposed to talk about until date #3. In my opinion, date #3 is way too late. You have already invested time, money and you probably like the person enough to get naked with them (it is date #3, after all). Then you find out they are a staunch Pro-Life Republican that is happy Romney is the GOP’s choice – what do you do then? Date #3 is too late – talk about the tough things first, trust me. If he is an asshole you will figure it out before the check arrives and save a lot of aggravation.
We bought a house in Sept 2009, during the worst stock and housing market crash since the depression. We each owned a place and didn’t want to combine into one small place, we wanted one bigger one. How hard could that be? We are smart people with a plan, right? Wow. After 2+ years of searching, countless offers and frustrated realtors, 6 contracts on 4 different houses, we finally found our dream house. A real house – no shared walls! Drama at every turn but I wouldn’t have done a thing differently. It all worked out with a lot of hard work and time spent. After that experience we didn’t know what to do with our time. So we filled it up!
With our SFH (like my real estate jargon?) purchased, we expanded our family. We now have 4 pets, it is a zoo at best; 2 pit bulls, 1 shepherd-husky and 1 cat. We have a lot of fun and they are very cute. Z, our new pittie, is about 5-6 months and was totally untrained. She was from the shelter, so of course that makes total sense, but I think we were hopeful she would be a little less rough around the edges. 4 weeks later, we are getting better, channeling our inner Cesar Milan on a daily basis and instilling discipline while keeping our sanity. Easier said than done. Our savior? Doggie daycare. S picks them up, wears them out, then brings them home. Wouldn’t have it any other way.
I know J loves me with all of his heart but I do have one flaw – spending money. Mainly shopping for luxury goods but I can spend a ton at Target too. Anything new I like, whether it is a new YSL bag or Jimmy Choo heels, or even new candles for our house or flowers for the garden, I love it all. We recently agreed that I would be better about this and stick to a real “budget”. We’ll see how that goes. In any case, I know a lot about shopping and fashion and generally looking good so maybe some of that will help some of you.
Back to my other passion then I will leave you for the day – pet rescue. I work hard to educate and spread awareness that pet adoption is the way to go when you want a pet, not a breeder or a pet store. Despite all of that, we have close friends that recently bought a dog from a breeder. Seriously. If you follow me on Twitter (@tobeyk), you will see that I tweet about pets or politics primarily. If you follow me and do not know where I stand on those topics, you are dumber than a box of rocks. Even a box of rocks would be able to clearly follow that I do not support dog breeding, especially pit bulls and other bully breeds. Then our friends BUY their dog. I still can’t believe it. It is really the 800lb gorilla in the room. They sheepishly told J about it and I heard second-hand that they BOUGHT their dog. That actually looks like our dog. That was a stray. Anyway, I can’t stay mad for long, I just have to continue to spread the word. #AdoptDon’tShop – you will be saving more than one life – you are making room for others to live and breathe another day in the shelter system by doing do. And you are also not perpetuating the cycle of breeding for money and profit, then dropping off the leftover puppies at the shelter, and so on. You get it, right? I know you do, you are smarter than a box of rocks.